The Fish Bowl

Oh yeah, I rule.

So, today I have made a Spice Cake (from the box) and a Carrot Cake (from scratch). What possessed me to go at this project, i'll never know. but i now have a new respect for Betty Crocker and the Pillsbury Dough boy. Sifting is a pain in the patootie, grating the carrots is mind numbing, and getting all the necessary tools is expensive. But the cakes have just come out of the oven and they are cooling now. It's my first attempt at a layer cake, so lets hope it comes out ok. And for tomorrow I've got all the stuff for my macaroni and cheese casserole. This will be thanksgiving number three with the boyfriends family. Last year was a little stressed because L-mom was diagnosed with cancer. But she has gone into remission, so this year she has tried to keep me from cooking much. She felt bad because I cooked the whole thing last year. I don't know why she feels bad. I didn't have to do it. i wanted to cook for the family. My mom was out of town, so it's not like I had anything else to concentrate on. This year is going to be stressful though, because I have promised my mother that I would take her out to take advantage of all the BF Sales. *sigh* Wish me luck...

So, it's been a while since I've actually played on Illustrator or Photoshop. Since that's what I went to school for, I figured I oughtta go ahead and make some use of these valuable programs. I've decided to make some banners to try and get myself back in the groove. Drop me a line if you want a commission =)

it seems that I have been blessed with a stomach bug. This one seems unique though. There is no coughing, sneezing, or other cold or flu symptoms. Thankfully there is no gastrointestinal discomfort other than the tummy ache. 

Last night I had a nasty little stomach ache... More at 11...

Valentines Day was great. I am still getting accustomed to not being dissapointed. It's... not as bad as it used to be, but after so long, even two years of being with him isn't enough time to let all of my barriers fall completely. So my gift to him was small but cute. He absolutely loves bacon. His favorite saying is "Bacon is what makes other foods worth eating". So, I got him two small Bacon bars from Haut Chocolate. One for him to try, and the other for him to just have. The look of his face was priceless. I only wish my camera wasn't busted. Even with fresh batteries it goes into coniptions and won't turn on. I think it's still mad at me for not using it as much during my photography class. Anyways, Along with his mini bacon bars, I also got him an assortment of dark chocolates, because I know he loves it. I got him a Hershey's Special Dark (The easiest one to eat), the Cherry Chili concoction by Lindt (One I know he likes), and another Lindt bar that is just straight 85% Dark chocolate( He likes it, but he says its so strong it will take him a while to eat it all). And ofcourse, he topped me again.

Chocolates or flowers? Nope, none of that. I bought flowers for myself though. No, he did something better though. He tricked me into going to the mall. He said that his parents wanted another painting of a lighthouse to add to their collection. So I walk in and begin to look at a languid pace, because you can't just rush when it comes to looking at art. And I try to get his attention, but he barrels on through the store like the brute he is. When he goes up to the clerk and gives his name, I was a bit put off because I wanted to look around and pick out a nice print for his parents, otherwise why even invite me to look with him. And before I could give him a piece of my mind, the clerk of the store comes out with the painting. It wasn't a light house at all! It took me a few moments to gather my wits because I was ready to be very annoyed with him. Then I realized what the painting was. It's a print of the hands of God and man  in a lighter but still warm sepia/peach tone. It was one that I found and took to MONTHES earlier! But it was so long ago that I had completely forgotten about it! They were talking and asking me if I liked it, but I was still absorbing it. The clerk was soon touched by the tears that soon followed, well seeped as I realized exactly what he had done. I picked out a frame that went well with the tones in the print. There was a dark wood frame on it, but it darkened it too much. So I went with a lighter wood. I was in a bit of a daze though. So now here I sit with a lively print to remind me just how incredibly lucky I am to have such an amazing man. Of all the men I've dated, I have never... EVER felt so Loved. I have no idea how many times I told him that I loved him yesterday, but it didn't feel like enough... He could have gotten me jewelry, he could've gotten me a giftcard, or flowers, or anything else... but to show that he really does listen and really cares about me... and Really loves to see that ridiculous face I make when I get a great surprise... It means so much to me...

I can't believe that I'm finally doing something. Mike and I turned in our apartment application on sunday and ofcourse we were approved. I'm told I was being silly for worrying about wether or not we'd get the approval, but what can I say, its something new. When it's something this new, I have to worry. So hopefully by late march or early april we will have the apartment we've been waiting for. We want to get a second floor apartment with a porch/patio. The square footage is a little less than the apartments without the porch, but they are very nice. The porches are all screened in, and they are a very good size. The fitness room they have is amazing. It's almost like going to a full sized gym at the rec center! They've got a full circuit as well as three of each cardio machine you can imagine.

In other news, I'm coming up on my last semester at my beloved TCC. I've applied for graduation and I have begun to pester the graduation application staff to make sure mine goes through smoothly. The due date is the 15th of january, but I want to make sure that any issues are taken care of before it's too late. I have paid my tuition in full and I actually have money to spare for car payments, phone bills, and my water treatment bill. Not to mention, this is all after the holidays. I have to admit, I'm very impressed with myself. This is definately a first, and I don't mind admitting how pleased I am with myself. I can definately feel a change has occured within me and that I really can do what I set my mind to accomplish. My goals aren't just pipe dreams. They can be real and I can follow through. All I have to do is trust myself and do it. I can't say that I'm a huge fan of Nike, but I seem to have adopted their slogan "Just Do It". When it comes down to the wire, that's all one can really do. It's funny, when I decided to go back to school, thats exactly what I told myself. I was wondering if I could really do it and finish and go all the way. After a time of worry, I said "Just Do It!" and I did. Now here I am, ready to finish up school, ready to move out, and ready to start a new life. It might seem a bit over dramatic, but it's true. Once I leave my childhood home, thats it. I can't come back. It's not that I wouldn't be welcomed back, but it's taken me so long to get to this point, I can't let myself retreat to what's comfertable. I want to be a trail blazer in my life.

So it's a New Year, and there are plenty of oppertunities to take advantage of. A "new" goal that I've set for myself is to eat healthy. I know, It sounds like a broken record, but I've already started. Yup, I'm going two days strong. The other night I had my first Panic Attack of the year. I was convinced that I was having a heart attack, ofcourse I was fine, but still. I'm tired of being paranoid that I'm going to die in my sleep this early in life. I know that I'm going to die, I'm not trying to cheat death, but I want to Live... not wait. So, baby steps are what I'm starting with. The eating first, that way I can build up my energy. The walking will come next, and then I'll start working on the gym.

Well, as I'm sure you've gathered, I'm going to graduate this semester. That means, I need to get a real job. Well, to help me with my health goals, I am going to try and apply at Geico and Walgreens. They are not what I have gone to school to do, but it is a stable job that I can count on while I look for my dream job. Also, I have the tools I need to do a bit of free lance work. This way I can build up a portfolio while I go for my goals.

Well, I need to get off my patooty and get to work. So off I go. Good luck to all in your new year.

I have just experienced the most grueling 20 minutes of terror I have ever had in my life! And good God the relief feels so sweet. I'm in school. I had to take Typography. I did. I took it over the summer, but due to issues at home/work and my health prevented me from completeing it. So I took an Incomplete with the promise that I would finish it during the Fall semester. I did. I worked so hard on those two projects. I finished everything that was on my tasks list. Grades were turned in yesterday and posted today. Under Typography, I saw an F. I began to cry... like an angry baby. I was not expecting an A, but an F?! It wasn't a silent sobbing. It was an angry "I Hate You" sort of cry. I wrote the teacher asking Why. I tried to sign up for the class again in the spring, but both of them are full. Now I was panicking. I called the Dean of the Art Center to see if there was a way I could get in some way, some how. He wasn't there, but his secretary was. She said "No"... in big bold letters. The tears came again. She tried to reassure me that people would drop out and I might be able to get in after the break. I was upset, I didn't want to take it again. I have learned to thoroughly Hate Typography and Adobe InDesign during this experience. I asked her if there could have been a mistake. She said, "Wait! There could be!"

 ...

Really? You're not joking? Could it be real? Could it be true? Will I never have to take this class again? Yes? YES! Oh Happy Day! Slow Paper work! How I Love Thee! It was there all along. It just hasn't made it to the computer yet! Oh Thank God, Thank Heaven, Thank Shiva, Thank Confusious, Thank Thor, Thank Zues, Thank the Gods Almighty! I got a B, a B a Glorious B! All that hard work was not in vain! I cried again, but this time for Joy! I WILL be able to Graduate in May! That Hope Is NOT gone! I won't have to wait for next December to get my Diploma! Oh Happy DAY!!!!!

Go there. Learn.

So, I've never really been into Britney Spears, but it's hard to go around without hearing something about her these days. I just watched her video for Womanizer. Yes, the song leaves much to be desired from a creative writing point of view. However, it is catchy and the video is very amusing. Britney is looking good a lot better than what we've seen over the past year. And her music is good. It's not great, and I don't believe that she's a really good singer. But she's definately a great entertainer.