6 posts tagged “friends”

So, two of my friends are going through a rough time right now. One wants a divorce, the other one doesn't. Yeah, they are married to eachother, for the moment any way. I know that the guy part of this union is a good guy... just a little... well, irresponsible with juvenile tendencies? I dunno, but it's not a situation where I'm thinking "What went wrong?!" I know how they are. My guy friend more so than his wife. I can't help but be more than a little worried about him right now. *sigh* I guess all I can really do is try to distract him and calm him down a bit, let him vent... =(

So, A girl I know is moving out of her parents house and into a neighborhood that I know off. Two of my friends live there. So me and this girl are not the best of friends, but we're cool. She can be a little flaky some times, but aren't we all? Its no big deal right? Well, I don't know. She told me that she was getting a place the other day, but then she sends me a text to put a hold on the house warming, one of the roommates just backed out. Well, jokingly atfirst, I say that I'd step in. Then, it became not so much of a joke. So now, I find myself waiting on her to get in contact with another girl who is a prospective roommate, and chances are that by May, we'll be one big happy family.... maybe.

  So I talked to my parental unit, and she is giving me this huge lecture about moving out and yadda yadda yadda, and I really don't want to hear it. I am hearing it, but I don't want to because it sucks, and I don't want to think that such bad things could happen, but if they didn't happen between friends, then Judge Judy would have no job. So now Im' thinking and weighing my options. Is it REALLY a good idea to move out right now? I mean, Its not like I'm saving money living at my moms house, but at the same time, I have to hear her nagging on me for a cluttered bathroom and bedroom. She makes me feel like I'm five. But then, yesterday, I found myself cleaning my boyfriends kitchen because his room mate had left the stove top in DisGUSTING condition. *shudder* Grease, and hair.... 'nuff said *shudder*. Anyway, I find myself wondering, do I really want that? In a way I do, because after a one year commitment to that, my boyfriend says he'd gladly move into an apartment with me. And I do want that... but at the same time, I'm wondering, what else would I learn there that I haven't learned now? I mean, I've been paying utilities for the last six years or so... By myself in this house. For about seven years I've been upkeeping this house by myself. And yeah, my bills don't get paid on time exactly, but they get paid. And I even went so far as to check out my credit report, its not that bad. Its not stellar, and on some bureus I'm bordering on fair, but still, thats no where NEAR as bad as I thought it would be! So, he wants me to learn how to be responsible while living with other people. And I know that a part of him in just a bit wary because he's been alone for so long. Also, he wants me to have the experience of being out there on my own, I do too. I told him that I wanted to move out before I moved in with him. But now I'm not so sure. There's just so much that can go wrong.

  Apartment living is just so different. And while I'm thrilled at not having a yard to mow (Cement Patios!!!! =^_^=), Do I really want to share water with... Two, possibly three other people? *sigh* In a sense I do, because even though I've been going to school for, like, Ever! I never had the real oppertunity to go out there and experience dorm life. Crappy I know, but its good times to look back on. Things you share with your kids or friends later on and laugh about. Its an exciting change of space, for a little while if not permanent. But then there's fighting over who gets to do laundry that day, who's taking too long in the shower, So and so leaves their lights on constantly, she should get most of the light bill. Is that something I really want to endure? Maybe I do.

  Maybe it will help me learn how to pay those pesky bills on time, manage my money, find sales, make what I have last. And maybe this will give me that extra boost I wast looking for before. These people are not people that I normally hang out with. So in parties, I'd have the oppertunity to meet new people and socialize. And that brings about another concern... Peace And Quiet... If there are three people living in one town house, someone is always going to be studying (my friend and I are both in school), and someone is always going to be watching tv, or listening to music, or being too loud... in.. well, you know... everyone in the potential house has a significant other and, well yeah. Anyway! And certain people that I am friends with are none too friendly with my not so personal friend, so I wouldn't have a whole lot of parties at the house with my friends dominating.

   So you can see the quandry I'm at here. There's also my finances. I'm trying to get a different job. I applied for one, but I may just end up trying out the phones just to get out of my mothers store. But that means that finances might be a little unstable.  *sigh* Who knows, I might just work something out with mom so that I can save money, skip the middle man and just talk to my boyfriend about getting an apartment next year. I guess we'll just see.

I wish my stomache didn't hate shell fish...

In your home town, its just silly to think you'll never see someone again. Today, as I was walking through Sams with my mom, I ran into an old friend. His name is Derek. And as luck would have it, I always have had a huge crush on Derek. But, he's just a friend. But Wow, its been ages since I've seen Derek. And if that wasn't enough, he lives just down the road from a friend of mine! I've already told myself that I will not go to his house by myself, but I'm curious!!!! I mean, its been ages! But whatever, Derek is just Derek. But its so wierd to just run into him after so long. Whats even wierder (and I feel like such a shit for it too), I saw him first, but for some reason I just look ahead like nothing and kept walking. Never made eye contact. At first I wasn't sure if it was him. It was one of those" hey that looks like... naaaaah" kind of moments. But then later on when I was looking for pants for my boyfriend, whom I love and adore with all of my heart and soul, HE came up and said that "Damaris? Is That You!" At first he went to hug me but opted for the hand shake instead. I was just kind of like... wow! HE ended up giving me a hug afterwards, but you know. Wow, Last time I saw him he had braces, I didn't notice if he still had them. Although that would just be silly. Its good to see him though. Funny actually.

  Actually the same goes for everyone. Doesn't matter where you are, you're bound to bump into someone from your past. Heck, my sister once saw her ex boyfriend crossing the street in New York city a couple of years ago. I mean, how probably is it to spot an old flame in one of the most crowded cities in the us. She was on a bus and he was on the street, how crazy is that.

 Its actually kind of strange how many familiar faces one sees. Just the other day I Was Arby's and I saw a lady that I've known OF since I was little. Her name is Jolene. I was so intimidated by her as a kid, but know... she's just some other lady. I run into one of my older friends every so often. I'm an asshole though, I don't really talk to her much. I mean... she's just.... dirty. Its not just her, but I mean, thats how she and her house have always been. I remember watching her unload the dishwasher one day. She literally took the utensil basket from the dishwasher, took it to the utensil drawer.... and just dumped it in. she moved stuff around a bit so it would close.... but... she just... dumped it. Her house always smelled of cat pee, and there was always stuff everywhere. Boxes and clothes and toys and papers and boxes and just stuff and junk Everywhere! I will be the first to admit that I am FAR from little miss tidy, but I couldn't live like that for very long. And just from her appearance and the way she.. well... her teeth look, I can't help but wonder if things are still the same. She has kids too! At least three. They've come into the store before. Yeah, her husband (I think?) is/was in the military. So I saw her up at the hospital once. I hate admiting that, and it makes me feel like a bad person, but I can't help it. If we bump into one another, I'm polite, but I just don't want to pursue a personal friend relationship with her. Which is stupid because all I've wanted for a good long while now is friends.

  I mean, what kind of mess is that?! I talk about how I need some friend and some one to talk to other than my boyfriend, and I meet people who I can connect with, and I end up pushing them away... What the hell is wrong with me? I mean, I met a girl at my boyfriends parents house who seems really nice. We talked and got along great, but I haven't called her. I did lose her number, but I could always call my boyfriends sister and get it from  her. So its not like I have an excuse. Angie and Tay are still around, although they are rather busy with their families of course. Now I have Derek. Tina( the girl I was talking about in the previous paragraph), is still in the neighborhood, but I'm just put off by stupid stuff. There's girls at school and at work who would be great friends.... but I just can't seem to let anyone in....*sigh* I just don't know how anymore....

SO, things have been rather busy as of late. Mercedes (my co-worker at the gift shop) got fired, so I have had to work every evening for the last two weeks. It sucks, but I'm getting paid. And hopefully I will get paid even more when I start working on the new website. I'm going to make a web site for the gift shop. Its most likely just going to be a little something on Bravenet. I like Bravenet better than angelfire. SO I'll be taking plenty o pictures this weekend. And either tomorrow or saturday I will finally have the new computer set up. Internet or not. I can always take the lap top to my moms house and piggy-back if I get really desperate. Things with Mike have been going great. I had a bit of a break down the other day, but he really helped me out. I'm pmressed by the simple fact he didn't dump me then and there. But we've been adjusting to "couple status" and things are ok. Both he and I have had out hard ships and as he said, we're both coming from very guarded positions. Hell, for a while, I wasn't quite sure how to be a proper girlfriend. Mostly I just sit there, enjoy his company and try not to freak out over the little things. If there's anything else I should be doing, please drop me a note. =^_^= lol. We don't hang out too often. Mostly the weekend is when we get to see eachother. We'll talk on the phone during the week days, but his job is starting to tax his nerves, so the conversations are short. Sunday he bought me a cute little case for my cell phone. Its pretty and its red. =^_^= I like it. It fits nice and snug. Now all I need is to get my damned phone fixed/exchanged again. -_-; I love my little phone, but its been rather frustrating so far. Alltel is great, I get local service in places I never did before, but I haven't been able to send or recieves pictures for almost a month now. First I was told it was a problem with the network. And now they tell me its a problem with the phone. Grrr >:( But hopefully things will get straightened out soon enough.

Nekocon, a local anime convention, is happening this weekend. I was going to go, but I am so broke its ridiculous. So, I'm going to have to skip out on that. It sucks, I really wanted to go. But oh well. I'll live.

HappyFeet is coming out on the 17th! =^_^= Mike outright refuses to go with me. =( But he did say he will buy two tickets so that me and my friend Tay can go. =D Which is awesome. I get to see a cute movie for free X3 Yay! Things things some boys will go through to avoid girly movies. :-p lol. Well, thats all I have the energy to share right now. I think I'm going to go and veg in front of the TV for a half an hour before bed. Or *gasp* might even read. I should be working on my novel though. Blah. National Novel Writing month started yesterday. I've barely writen 500 words. But I have started, which counts for something. =) I'll work on it some more tomorrow morning. And I've got this weekend. I'm going to try and stop by best buy to ge a  thumb drive, that way I can take my novel to work with me and work on it on saturdays. =3 Teehee. Well, off to bed I go. Tata!

This morning I was able to sleep in. It was good. I felt so incredibly comfertable in my nice soft comferter and on top of my fluffy matress. Then I woke up, procrastinated, went to my mom's house and did some stuff. Went to the store, went home and showered before work. Work was good. I got some really funny calls. Atleast they seemed a lot funnier then. I felt good though. I stepped out into the night air and just felt refreshed and vibrant. The cool wind felt good on my neck and cheeks. And to tell the truth, my libido was raging. And a special friend of mine just happened to have called me. He was on his way over, and I felt full of life. As I spoke to him on the phone, Another call had come in.... I shouldn't have answered it.

   It was my friend. She was calling to tell me... that a friend of ours had died today.

He killed himself.... With a plastic bag. Talk about knocking the wind out of your sails. I've never actually been left speechless before. I always pretended because it was funny.... But I almost literally felt like someone had just kicked me in the stomach. I couldn't breath or think for a moment. And for a good twenty minutes, I was very close to hysterical. How The hell can someone decide that they are going to end their life today! What The FUCK! I mean.... Your life isn't yours to take. Its A Gift! We have to make the most of what we have in the little bit of time that we are allowed. And with a plastic bag? What in bloody hell! I thought suicide was supposed to be quick and painless! What the HELL Would Possess someone to STICK A PLASTIC BAG ON THEIR FUCKING HEAD AND SLOWLY KILL YOURSELF! I should have spent more time with him. But I didn't. I shouldn't have to baby sit my friends!

I am so tired right now... but sleep is the last thing I want to do...

Have you ever just been sitting down watching tv, or reading a book, or just doing nothing in particular, when suddenly an old memory pops into your head? Thats always fun. Today I had one pop in from back in school. Geez, and I mean waaaaaaaaaaay back, before my father died. When I was a kid, my mother and I used to attend a little church by the beach. It wasn't anything fancy. It was held in a himeless shelter. I mother met the preachers wife in Richmond. They went to the School for the Blind together. The people there were nice, and I got to know them very well. Among them was a woman with a slue of boys. I can't remember how many exactly, but I know there were atleast three... maybe four. I used to have a little crush on the eldest. He was very cute, but he was also troubled. He was on anti depressents. But ofcourse he had a girlfriend. And it so happens that she rode my bus. How he knew that we shared the same bus, I'll never know. Anyway, one day he approached me and asked if his girlfriend was saying anything behind his back. It so happened that she told her friend that they had broke up. It wasn't a secret, she was a bitch, and loud at that. So I told him. A few days later, here comes the girl (I swear, they were perfect for eachother with the bundle of issues each apperently had) and she starts to get up in my face about why I'm talking to her boyfriend and spreading "lies". I just told her, He asked a question and I answered. Before she could get any louder, my friend Yahira stood up and stepped up to the girl. She asks what the girls problem was. IT was easy to see the girl was getting scared, but she started to ask what business it was of hers. Yahira tells her that I was her cousin, and that she needed to get the hell away from me. The girl didn't say anything, just rolled her eyes and went back to her seat. =^_^= I was lucky that Y ahira decided to ride my bus that day. Yahira's mom is still to this day riends with my mom. She used to hang out (or baby sit now that I think on it), with me when I was a kid. Man, it was really long ago. She had Criss Cross posters on her wall and TLC was still big news.
  You never stop and think who has been a gardien angel in your life. After that, I never had any problems with anyone. Never was in a fight. If it wasn't for Yahira, I might have gotten hurt. I can't believe I forgot all about that. Its strange how many memories you just... forget, or block out. I wonder if this is older peopl e go through, but ten times magnified. They forget the present, but the past comes back to comfert them... *shrugs* I don't know. Well, there's a second one to tack up on to Trips down Memory Lane.